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The best and worst of 2017

Hello, everyone!

Today is the last day of 2017 and this year flew by real fast! I don’t have much exciting to say about this year, but there are a few things that happened this year that made me happy and some that made me sad.

This year I have been focusing a lot on my YouTube channel, creating as much content as I could, like The Sims 4 speed build videos and other related videos to The Sims 4, such as Create A Sims and Let’s Play videos. This year the amount of subscribers to my channel increased with 2000 new subscribers, which is for me quite a lot. I have met many awesome people in the YouTube and The Sims community who I consider as friends, and I got so many love and support from viewers from all around the world, which is amazing!

Another great thing that happened this year was seeing one of my favorite YouTubers Colleen Ballinger, also known as Miranda Sings. I have been watching her videos for years now and when she announced she was going to tour Europe again and coming back to Amsterdam on September 21, I finally was able to get a ticket this time, which included a meet and greet as well. She is one of the kindest, loving and down to earth human being out there! And she is one of the few YouTubers who cares dearly about her fans. Seeing her show was super fun and I will definitely go see her again when she’s coming back to Holland.

My next “highlight” of this year was finally seeing the new adaptation of Stephen King’s It! I went to see the movie on the first day it came out, together with my dad, and in my whole life this was the second time that I went to the movies with my dad. The first time was decades ago when I was like 10 years old. We went to see the movie Dick Tracy. It was fun to have some quality time with my dad, because I love him so dearly! The movie was amazing! I have read the book 4 times and even tho there were a few things different and missing from in the book, it did really capture the chemistry between the characters and the horror that is Pennywise the dancing clown. Looking forward to the second chapter, but that won’t be out until 2019.

Another fun experience or ‘highlight’ for me was seeing one of my favorite stand-up comedians, Kathy Griffin!! I have been a fan of Kathy Griffin since her reality TV show My Life On The D-List. When a friend of mine messaged me with the news that Kathy Griffin was going on a world tour and she’s coming to Amsterdam in November, I literally jumped for joy! We immediately got tickets for the Amsterdam show on November 13, and later we decided to get tickets for the show in Antwerp, Belgium, as well on November 16! Her shows were absolutely hilarious! I laughed from beginning to end. In Amsterdam I was sitting on the fourth row, and in Antwerp front row. It was awesome seeing her up close and personal. It was the best ever!

Now, on to not so great things… This year my beloved grandmother passed away on October 26, at the age of 95. Two days before she passed she had some sort of stroke and she didn’t wake up anymore. When we got the news I told my dad I wanted to go see her, so the following day we went to my grandma to say our last goodbyes. The day after she passed away peacefully. The funeral was a few days later and the ceremony was very emotional. I still think about my grandmother every day and I miss her so much. She was such an amazing grandmother to me. Always loving, supportive and caring. When I came out to my grandmother she was the best support to me. Unfortunately for almost the last decade of her life she suffered from Alzheimer’s and she lost quite a lot of memories. But, she’s now in peace together with my grandfather, where ever that is. She had a great and full life. Just the loss and missing her so much still affects me.

So, yeah! These were my best highlights of 2017! Let’s hope 2018 will be a good year, not just for me but for everyone! I hope people will continue to spread love and encourage others to do the same. It’s really not that hard. We are all on this planet together. It is time to accept our differences and respect other people and treat everyone with kindness and respect. I want to see less hate and more love! And more compassion.

Happy new year, everyone! I am sending you lots of love! May all your dreams and wishes come true in the new year!


My highlights of 2015

What’s up, everyone!

Today is the final day of 2015 and I thought it would be fun to close off this year by sharing my highlights of this year. A lot has happened in one year. A lot of good stuff, which I am very happy about.

First things first, something that I’d like to call a victorious moment, if I say so myself. That is quitting the cigarettes! After smoking for 20+ years (yes, I was very young when I started) I finally quit the stinky cigs with something that would definitely help many others who are struggling with quitting. And that’s vaping! I started with those e-cigarettes from Zensations, which is basically a recharchable battery where you can screw on these so called cartridges with e-liquid that comes available in different flavours. So, I was vaping on that for a few weeks or so, and still smoke cigarettes every now and then, but not as much as before. Smoking the e-cigarettes ended up not being my thing. I mean it was nice, but it didn’t really give me the full satisfaction, really.

I dug a little deeper and came across videos on YouTube about vaping, with different reviews of these so called mods, clearomizers, atomizers, etc. It was all like hocus pocus to me at first, but after watching a shit load of different videos I started to understand what it all is and means.

So, in March I purchased a mod. This one’s called the eGrip by Joyetech. It’s a simple mod with a built in tank and it’s 20 watts. I still don’t fully understand the wattage thing, but 20 watts is the maximum you can vape on. I think the higher the wattage the better flavour you get from the e-liquid, although I am not 100% sure. I am still learning.

So, this year I finally quit the stinky sticks and I can’t believe I managed to do so. I have tried quitting many times and I always fall off the wagon after a couple days. Vaping is such a healthier and nicer alternative. I have a total of three mods now. I also have the Eleaf iStick 20 watts mod and the Eleaf iStick 60 watts mod with temperature control. The last one is my latest one I purchased a couple days ago and I freakin’ love it! And there are hundreds of different flavours for your vape and it’s just the best. So much better than smoking!

When I started vaping I began with 12 mg of nicotine and right now I dropped to 3 mg of nicotine. So, it’s basically a process. But the 3 mg of nicotine is about perfect for me. And it’s so nice not to wake up with that feeling like your lungs are in your throat. And the vapor doesn’t ruin your lungs and I also noticed that my skin looks more refreshed. Mister vain, I know! Cheers to no more cigarettes!

The second best thing that happened this year, which is also something that I am super happy about is that I am finally debt free! Holy moly, that feels freakin’ great! I had a debt of roughly five thousand euros. It was a struggle because I was in a major depression that started in 2009 which caused me to lose my job, which then caused me not being able to pay my bills, which led to debt collectors and stuff, which then caused me even more depression, which eventually gave a burn out. I was suicidal, I had a shit load of therapy sessions, severe social anxiety… You may know the story, so I won’t go deeper on that. But yeah, after roughly five years I am finally debt free. With a lot of help from a budget management office here, I had to cut some strings, but I managed to pull through it. And it feels good. Knowing that I am debt free is such a huge relieve and it allows me to work and fully focus on myself and pick up the broken pieces and glue them all together.

The third thing I did, which made me think long and hard, is changing my YouTube channel. As some of you know, I have been vlogging daily since 2009, sharing my life, my ups and downs, in a video blog series, which after a couple of years got changed into weekly vlogging and I had over 900 vlogs uploaded. I wanted to make a change so bad! Because since earlier this year I started feeling a bit better again, doing my thing and working on myself. So, after thinking hard about this I decided to change up my channel and start a gaming channel, mainly for The Sims 4. I had purchased the game because the Mac version was released then, so I thought it was a great idea to do. But I wanted to start fresh. So I finally decided to delete all my 900+ vlogs, all videos of where I shared my deepest feelings, struggles and emotional breakdowns, and just start completely over. And that’s what I did! And it feels so nice to start with something new, something I love doing. I still upload a vlog occasionally, but mostly they’re gaming videos. And I am enjoying it! It was a big step and a big decision to make, but I have no regrets! I did back-up all my old vlogs on my external hard drive, so no worries.

The final highlight of this year was seeing my number one idol Madonna again at the Ziggodome in Amsterdam on December 5! The Rebel Heart Tour was quite a spectacle. This was the tenth time I saw Madonna and she really outdone herself again. I queued at the venue for twelve hours in the freezing cold, but it was totally worth it. My whole body was literally broke for the next two days, but like I said, it was totally worth it. Wish I could go see the show again, but I am happy I get to see it at least once. Long live the Queen of Pop!

So, these were the highlights for me in 2015. Great moments and great victories. I have no resolutions for 2016. We will just see what comes my way and just live in the moment. Happy New Year, everyone! May it be filled with lots of love, joy, happiness, peace and unity!