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Leander

Disconnecting for the weekend

This weekend I am disconnecting a little bit and having a little ‘me’ time. It’s one of those moments again where I feel like I just wanna crawl under a rock. Whenever I feel like that I always disconnect myself from people and just deal with it. Analyze and examine my feelings and thoughts and work my way through it.

Lately I haven’t been feeling all that great about myself. There are a few things. My body. I don’t like it. I thought I was okay with it and just embrace it, but I guess not. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror when I get out of the shower. I am like a yo-yo, gaining and losing weight. Not so long ago I started intermittent fasting and eating more healthy. I eat between noon and 8pm and nothing else after until noon the following day. I did that for like a few months and I really noticed the difference. I noticed a change in my body and I felt more energetic too. But then I fell off the wagon again. I started eating again outside of the time slot I eat. More fatty food, chips, ice-cream, chocolate chip cookies, all the good stuff. And I noticed that extra spare tire coming back around my waste. So, here we are again, feeling bad and unhappy about it. I started intermittent fasting and eating healthier again since a couple of days. I am gonna try and focus on it and remind myself of how the results from the last time made me feel better. Fingers crossed.

Another thing I am going through is that feeling of not feeling attractive and feeling unwanted. Where the fuck did that come from, huh? Every time I take an interest in someone it always blows up in my face. I understand that I have a weird sense of humor, a dirty mind, but I think I have a great personality. Don’t I? There were countless moments where I came across someone who is cute, funny and has a great personality. I then I think “we could be so great together”. Does anyone ever think that when they see someone they like? Or am I the only one? But no, they’re either not interested or they don’t think of me the same way. Or when they show you they’re interested, but their heart isn’t fully in it. You know what I mean? It’s frustrating some times. Anyway! Woe is me! But I do feel that I can be the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. Is that a cocky thing to say? I mean, I am compassionate, understanding, loving, sweet and funny. I am all for honesty and communication. Making the other person feel there isn’t anything that they cannot tell me or talk to me about, even if they feel or think it may be something I don’t wanna hear. Doesn’t that sound like a good thing to have in a relationship? Anway!

What else has been happening? Anything that isn’t all that depressing? Well… I have been addicted to Genshin Impact since a month now. So that’s keeping me occupied a lot. And of course I am still streaming on Twitch, which I enjoy a lot. Hanging out with my peeps and stuff. Yeah, that gives me a lot of joy. Everyone is so loving and kind. I always have a great time streaming.

You know, with whatever it is that I am going through right now, I always try so hard to stay positive. Positive and optimistic. Good things will come, eventually. I just gotta set my mind to it, really. And not get sucked into this black hole. So I am considering my weekend of disconnecting a little bit as a good thing. Allowing myself to be a bit vulnerable and just let it all come to me. Feel, deal, heal… right?

Anyway, enough ranting about this. I needed it to get it off my chest one way or another, so why not blog about it? I hope everyone is having a glorious weekend. Take good care of yourself. And don’t worry about me. I will figure out how to rise above it. I always do.

Leander

Great 41st birthday

Yesterday I turned 41 years young and it was an absolutely fun and amazing day. I went on to do a 12 hour stream on Twitch! To some this may be something that would makes you wonder how this is fun, but it was and that’s that. I had a blast hanging out with people. I did some building in The Sims 4, played some Geoguessr and I even had a few people on voice chat in Discord for the last hour of my stream. Time went pretty fast. I started at 12 o’clock noon and ended at midnight, precisely.

I even had a bit to drink during stream and eventually I was really feeling the buzz. But I had a lot of laughs and I was having a good time!

Playing Geoguessr on stream for the first time ever was a blast as well. I am definitely going to play that on stream more often. It’s a great game that allows you to train your brain and have a chill time with everyone in chat as well, who then has the option to help you out.

A want to give a huge thank you to everyone who tuned in to my 12 hour stream and for celebrating my birthday. I also want to thank for everyone’s generosity as well. I am always forever grateful for all the love and support I get on Twitch and I don’t take it for granted.

So, now I am another year old. Do I feel my age? Not at all. I still have the mindset of a 20-something year old. Sometimes. Physically however, I don’t know. But let’s not dwell on that, shall we?

Leander

Birthday Stream

It’s almost my birthday again! Where does the time go? I’ll be 41 years old, my goodness! Another year closer to death. Since I never do anything for my birthday I have planned to do a 12 hour stream on Twitch on Saturday, July 17, which is my actual birthday. I will start the stream at 12 o’clock noon and I will finish at midnight! I planned to do some building in The Sims 4, play some Geoguessr and maybe some other games. Basically just hang and chill with anyone who stops by in chat! It’s going to be fun! I may have a drink later or two as well before the stream ends.

I have made a flyer that I posted on Twitter and Instagram already, to just get the word out.

I am so weird. With that I mean I usually don’t want to do anything on my birthday. I don’t really care for it. And on the other hand I do crave a little attention/validation as well. Isn’t that weird? Anyone else ever feel like that? I’m such a complex human being. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kinda nice to have the spotlight shine on you. But my inner introverted self is also like: “It’s nice not deal with the attention”. Meh!

But, anyway! Birthday stream! For 12 hours! Mark your calendar! I know I should have posted a blog about it earlier, but oh well! I hope you can make it, even if it’s just for a little bit. I would appreciate that a lot!

Click here to go to my Twitch channel. And follow me if you aren’t already!

Leander

Finally a hair cut

I was debating whether or not to cut my hair for the past couple of weeks. My hair had gotten really long. I had locks covering my eyes. I wanted to grow it out, but in the end I decided not to and just chop it off and have a short hairdo. Refreshing, isn’t it?

Madonna

New Madonna vinyls

I treated myself and ordered two Madonna vinyls for my collection! I got the 2019 Record Store Day edition of La Isla Bonita (Super Mix) on green vinyl and the 2018 limited edition reissue of the Like A Virgin album on white vinyl! Lovely new additions to my growing Madonna vinyl collection!

La Isla Bonita contains extended remixes of the song, as well as Open Your Heart. An instrumental mix of La Isla Bonita, plus the tracks Gambler and Crazy For You!

Leander

Reinvented stream

After two years of using the same branding and overlay design on Twitch I finally took the time to reinvent the whole channel! It’s about time, isn’t it? I love the new fresher look and vibe. I even have brand new animated alerts and and transition scenes as well. Having a new design makes me feel motivated more to continue streaming and hanging out with the amazing people in my little community.

What do you think of the new style and vibe?

Leander

Got an ipad mini

I have been spoiling myself again. I bought myself an iPad Mini 5! It’s not a brand new one, it’s a refurbished one, but it is as good as new! And it is cheaper than buying a brand new one. I am very, very happy with it!

I used to own an iPad 3 from 2012, but I gave that away a few years ago. Plus the OS wasn’t upgradable anymore at some point and a lot of apps that I use for banking and stuff couldn’t be updated either. So, after a few years of not having an iPad I finally decided to spoil myself (again) and get the iPad Mini 5. And I love it! The size is just perfect for me and it’s also compatible with the first generation Apple Pencil, which I hope to get in the near future. Or maybe a 3rd party pencil, I don’t know yet. I have to look into it and see what’s out there that is good. I purchased some e-books in the past that I cannot wait to dive in again and read on the iPad Mini. It’s really a match made in heaven for me.

And I don’t care that it’s refurbished. Refurbished products are not a bad thing. There is not a scratch on it and the place where I bought it from mentioned it is as good as new. Refurbished also means that they fully check the device before re-selling it. And it’s all good! So, I am very happy! Yes, Leander is pleased!

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