It’s nearly 1am, I just got home from Amsterdam. I met up with Jenny in the city after I was finished with work! Oh my fucking God, this was the first time I saw her after eight freaking months! It was so good seeing her again as I missed her gnarly ass for such a long long time. Jenny told me all about her trip to Africa and forgive me for saying, after hearing her stories, we do live in a fucked up world, I am telling you. For a moment I felt so blue with hearing the stuff she had to say. Kind of a disappointment. I really have to give you a piece of my mind…

Jenny went to Africa for volunteer work with little children. She stayed in Africa for 8 months. Man when she talked about all the things she has experienced it really made my eyes water! And it also made me realize how fucked up this world really is. Anyway, Jenny’s goal was to help and provide a little something for the little orphans in Tanzania. This really made me fucking pissed as she explained that her help and dedication didn’t mean shit to the people there. She fucking paid her own flight to Africa, for fuck sake! It’s not like she did that to live on their expenses, for crying out loud! The children she tried to help out were about 5 to 10 years old, about that age, dozens of little African children. Knowing Jenny she has such a big heart of gold, trying to make a difference, trying to change things, but honestly after hearing her stories and all it is just something that is impossible. Even when you try it so fucking hard! There are people who say it all starts with yourself, but that is just fucking bullshit. Gosh, I almost had tears rolling down my cheeks, but I manages to hold it in. I listened to her stories for hours and it was just interesting to hear that a charity organization like that can have a backdoor where you enter a world where it is not really about charity at all. It’s all about selfish deeds anyway. I also discussed with her that in this world we live in there is no self-less good deeds. In Jenny’s case she wants to feel good helping other people and that is a positive thing. But after all in Africa, all that she has done was not appreciated at all. Not one bit! Gosh, when I heard that I could just scream! Somehow it switched and bite her in the ass. Why? There were other volunteer workers there from other places who come to a charity organization thinking they can make a difference, while they actually don’t do shit. They think with just being there it makes them a hero or something. Jenny was the one who tried her best to give something for the children. And she is the damn hero!

Sorry for telling this all, but it just makes me pissed off! Now Jenny is back to Holland and I have told her and made her clear that she should be damn proud of herself! I mean I fucking envy her! Like there is anyone I know who would do something that she did. Trying to help! Caring and loving. Sacrificing certain needs to help! I told her that it has been a learning experience for her and that she at least tried to do something. And that with what she learned she has to keep that in her heart and mind. I’m sure that besides the people of the charity organization, those little orphans sure respected her and loved her as much as she showed love to them. Really, I don’t see anyone I know do what Jenny did. Jenny is a saint. Jenny if you are reading this you have to remember that. No one can take away your experiences. We all live in one world and it all should be equal. You are right about your thoughts on it! How much you are trying to make a difference, it will never change! There should be more people like yourself.

I can go on for hours but I won’t. I made my point. I am going to sleep now as I have to get my ass up again in 5 hours. I will see Jenny again on Sunday when it is GAY PRIDE in Amsterdam! Should be fun! Hope everyone is doing well! Peace out!