This weekend, I’m taking some time for myself, opting to disconnect for a while. Sometimes, I just feel the need to retreat and work through my thoughts and emotions. This period of introspection helps me analyze my feelings and navigate through them.

Lately, I’ve been grappling with a few personal issues. One of them is my body; I’ve been rather dissatisfied with it. Despite my efforts to accept and embrace it, I still struggle. It’s challenging for me to face my reflection in the mirror, particularly after a shower. My weight tends to fluctuate significantly, like a yo-yo. Not too long ago, I embarked on an intermittent fasting and healthier eating journey, which yielded noticeable results. I felt more energetic and observed positive changes in my physique. Unfortunately, I veered off that path, indulging in fatty foods, chips, ice cream, and chocolate chip cookies. Consequently, the spare tire around my waistline has made a return appearance. Now, I’m back on the intermittent fasting and healthy eating track, reminding myself of how it previously benefited me. Fingers crossed for better days ahead.

Additionally, I’ve been wrestling with feelings of unattractiveness and a sense of being unwanted. These emotions have been perplexing, as I’ve encountered disappointment every time I’ve shown interest in someone. While I acknowledge my quirky sense of humor and sometimes risqué thoughts, I believe I possess a genuinely great personality. Am I delusional in thinking this? Many times, I’ve met people who are charming, funny, and possess terrific personalities, and I’ve thought, “We could be perfect together.” I wonder if others have experienced similar thoughts. Yet, it often ends in disappointment—either they’re not interested, or they don’t see me the same way. Sometimes, even when there’s interest, it feels half-hearted. It can be quite frustrating. Nonetheless, I still believe I could be an exceptional partner. Is that an arrogant claim? I consider myself to be compassionate, understanding, loving, sweet, and humorous. I highly value honesty and open communication in a relationship, creating an environment where the other person feels comfortable sharing anything with me, even if it’s something they assume I might not want to hear. Doesn’t that sound like a solid foundation for a relationship? Anyway, that’s where my thoughts have been wandering lately.

Is there anything more uplifting to share? Absolutely, there have been some brighter moments! Over the past month, I’ve found myself engrossed in Genshin Impact, which has been a fantastic way to keep myself entertained. Additionally, I’m still actively streaming on Twitch, and it brings me immense joy. Interacting with my viewers is always a delightful experience, as they are incredibly kind and supportive. Streaming never fails to put a smile on my face.

In the midst of whatever challenges I’m facing, I consistently strive to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook. I firmly believe that better days are on the horizon, provided I keep my mind focused on it and avoid being engulfed by negativity. This weekend of disconnection, in a way, feels like a step in the right direction. I’m allowing myself to be a bit more vulnerable and receptive, embracing the idea of “feel, deal, heal,” if you will.

Enough about that, though. Venting has certainly helped me lighten the load, and I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts in this blog. I genuinely hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend, and I encourage you to take excellent care of yourselves. As for me, there’s no need to worry—I’ll find a way to rise above the challenges, just as I always do.