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food

Leander

Disconnecting for the weekend

This weekend I am disconnecting a little bit and having a little ‘me’ time. It’s one of those moments again where I feel like I just wanna crawl under a rock. Whenever I feel like that I always disconnect myself from people and just deal with it. Analyze and examine my feelings and thoughts and work my way through it.

Lately I haven’t been feeling all that great about myself. There are a few things. My body. I don’t like it. I thought I was okay with it and just embrace it, but I guess not. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror when I get out of the shower. I am like a yo-yo, gaining and losing weight. Not so long ago I started intermittent fasting and eating more healthy. I eat between noon and 8pm and nothing else after until noon the following day. I did that for like a few months and I really noticed the difference. I noticed a change in my body and I felt more energetic too. But then I fell off the wagon again. I started eating again outside of the time slot I eat. More fatty food, chips, ice-cream, chocolate chip cookies, all the good stuff. And I noticed that extra spare tire coming back around my waste. So, here we are again, feeling bad and unhappy about it. I started intermittent fasting and eating healthier again since a couple of days. I am gonna try and focus on it and remind myself of how the results from the last time made me feel better. Fingers crossed.

Another thing I am going through is that feeling of not feeling attractive and feeling unwanted. Where the fuck did that come from, huh? Every time I take an interest in someone it always blows up in my face. I understand that I have a weird sense of humor, a dirty mind, but I think I have a great personality. Don’t I? There were countless moments where I came across someone who is cute, funny and has a great personality. I then I think “we could be so great together”. Does anyone ever think that when they see someone they like? Or am I the only one? But no, they’re either not interested or they don’t think of me the same way. Or when they show you they’re interested, but their heart isn’t fully in it. You know what I mean? It’s frustrating some times. Anyway! Woe is me! But I do feel that I can be the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. Is that a cocky thing to say? I mean, I am compassionate, understanding, loving, sweet and funny. I am all for honesty and communication. Making the other person feel there isn’t anything that they cannot tell me or talk to me about, even if they feel or think it may be something I don’t wanna hear. Doesn’t that sound like a good thing to have in a relationship? Anway!

What else has been happening? Anything that isn’t all that depressing? Well… I have been addicted to Genshin Impact since a month now. So that’s keeping me occupied a lot. And of course I am still streaming on Twitch, which I enjoy a lot. Hanging out with my peeps and stuff. Yeah, that gives me a lot of joy. Everyone is so loving and kind. I always have a great time streaming.

You know, with whatever it is that I am going through right now, I always try so hard to stay positive. Positive and optimistic. Good things will come, eventually. I just gotta set my mind to it, really. And not get sucked into this black hole. So I am considering my weekend of disconnecting a little bit as a good thing. Allowing myself to be a bit vulnerable and just let it all come to me. Feel, deal, heal… right?

Anyway, enough ranting about this. I needed it to get it off my chest one way or another, so why not blog about it? I hope everyone is having a glorious weekend. Take good care of yourself. And don’t worry about me. I will figure out how to rise above it. I always do.

Leander

Visiting grandma, snow and allergies

Yesterday I went to visit my sweet grandma again and had some quality time with her and to give her some love. Our last visit in 2014. It’s about an hour and a half drive to where my grandma lives and I was surprised to see a part of Holland that has more snow than where I live. And it was colder there too!

During the car ride I saw some of the pretty whiteness of winter and I had to take a picture.

Grandma was happy to see us again!!! Whenever we visit her we take her out to the cafeteria for some snackin’ and chit chatting. We kept grandma company for an hour and a half. Before we left we took some snaps and selfies too!

The home she’s living at was all nicely decorated for the holidays. It was a must to take a picture of grandma and a beautiful Christmas tree! I also took some selfies that includes my dad and my grandma, but he doesn’t want his picture online. Although, I think there are a few older posts on my blog where I did post a picture of him, but oh well.

I was happy to have visited my sweet grandma again!!

After our short little visited we went to friends of my parents for dinner. They live about 45 minutes further from where my grandma lives. I’ve known one of them since I was a little kid, so my folks have been friends for like 30 years. They get together a couple times a year during special occasions.

The city they live in was covered with snow as well and decorated for the holidays. Even tho Christmas is over already, I couldn’t help but still feel like I am in a Christmas mood!

Dinner was delicious. We had Peking Duck with pork, chicken, veggies, tofu and rice! It was yummy. I even got a little doggy bag to bring home with me, so I can eat that tomorrow. Not having to worry about cooking dinner is nice.

I was kinda worried to have issues with allergies, because they have a cute cat named Leila. I was fine the whole time, until an hour before we left. I got all teary and my eyes started to itch like a mother fucker. Such a shame, because Leila is just so cute! Allergy or not, I did took some selfies with her.

We went back home just before 11pm, for a two hour ride. I was so sleepy, I nodded off for a moment while listening to the first six tracks of Madonna’s upcoming new album Rebel Heart. When I woke up I was almost home. My mom said I have been snoring like a pig. Oh well!

I had a great day going out and about. It was great seeing my grandma again. I hope to see her again real soon in the new year.

Tomorrow is the final day of the year, everyone! What are you guys up to for New Year’s Eve? Nothing special for me. I will just hang at my folks and that’s it. Let me know in the comments what your plans are. If you want, that is.

Anyway, thanks for reading about my day. I hope you’re all doing well. Ta-ta for now, lovies!

Leander

Weight loss process going well

Well, hello there, everyone! How are you all doing today? It’s Friday! Are you all excited? Today has been chill. I have been doing some cleaning here and there. Mom came over in the afternoon and brought some groceries. I finally added meat to my meal today! Whoohoo! LOL. I was not having any meat for the past six days because I didn’t have any, so I sticked to just eating vegetables. I had a delicious Italian seasoned vegetable mix that I stir fried. Mom made some meat balls and I kinda added them to my veggies, smashed them up a bit and voila! That was my dinner!

I only made a small portion of food for dinner. As you might know, I have been dieting for the past week and it’s going pretty well. The other day I was kinda bummed up because I was weighing myself, which I shouldn’t have, and it seemed that I gained like a kilogram! I was so bummed and disappointed. But in the end it was false. I don’t know why or how come. I’ve been told by one of my dear viewers that it’s best to weigh yourself in the morning, right after you wake up! So, that’s what I did this morning. I documented in my vlog, but I lost 1.2kg in one week! That’s pretty good, right? 1.2kg is about 2.6lbs. I am pleased with how it’s going so far. It’s only been a week. If I stick to the healthy eating for the next couple of weeks then I would lose plenty! Still, wish me luck tho, because it’s not easy.

Mom brought some nice stuff for me to feast on. Plenty of vegetables and fish. That would definitely keep me on track with losing weight. Thanks, mom! I have nothing planned for this weekend. I am just going to stay home and do my thing. I hope everyone is having a great weekend! Let me know what you’re up to! Ta-ta for now!

Leander

Eating like a bunny

I don’t want to make my blog all about me wanting to lose weight and about the stuff I eat. But, oh well! I started off my day with a glass of this juice, like a liquid breakfast! It’s just the juice and it was fulfilling. A blend of strawberries and oranges! Fruity, right? And plenty of vitamins too!

For dinner I had, again, only vegetables! I would have added fish or a bit of meat, but all I have at the moment is just vegetables! And I didn’t really felt like going out to get something. Frozen vegetables from a pack, already seasoned and ready to heat up in a pan! Carrots, peas, corn, mushrooms, silver onions… with a little bit of sauce! That was my dinner for today! It may sound boring to you, but it was actually pretty delicious! For the rest of the evening I will nibble on those snack carrots that I have! Eating like a bunny, aren’t I? LOL.

I weighed myself last Friday. I don’t want to weigh myself every day, otherwise I would go insane. So to see if I made any progress, I will continue doing what I do with the healthy eating and stuff, and weigh myself again next week, Friday! So there’s two weeks apart. What do you think?

In the mean time I will consider if I will use my crosstrainer for a little bit of exercise, but I won’t promise you anything. Also, I was wondering when my ‘cheat day’ will be! That’s the one day where I pig out and eat like… well, a pig! What did you have for dinner today? Make me jealous!

Leander

Getting rid of the holiday weight

The past couple of days I have been pretty annoyed that I gained a bit of weight. I’m sure a lot of people have that issue, right after the holidays. Feeling bloated, pants that are suddenly too tight, having to deal with a chicken or a rooster neck that wasn’t there before, being able to see your own cheeks when you smile… it’s frustrating! Around this time last year I lost roughly 10KG in about two to three weeks! And I noticed it too! I looked slimmer in the waist and face. And I didn’t do much exercise at all. Occasionally I took long walks outside.

What I did was laying off the freakin’ carbs. That means no bread, no pasta, no rice and no potatoes. Those are the main no no’s, at least for me. I was eating lots of vegetables, fish like salmon, and just meat but with moderation. So mostly just vegetables. I also ate bits of food every two hours, like one or two whole wheat crackers, fruit or yoghurt. I wanna go on that road again by eating healthy!

Starting today!

For dinner I simply had steamed cailuflower, grilled salmon and that’s it. Added a little bit of that powdered cheese and a little bit of garlic sauce. And it was tasty! When I lost weight last year that was what I ate a lot! For like several weeks. And for me the results were really showing! And I noticed it on the scale too! Now, this may not be the best or healthiest way to lose weight, but oh well! I am that stubborn!

Hopefully I can keep it up, because I am an emotional eater and I am eager to fall off the wagon! But let’s keep the faith! I will and must get rid of the holiday weight!

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